What Type of Windows Weenie Are You?

Last Friday I published a piece that looked at the different types of Mac-Heads. However this week I will be examining the different types of Windows users. Lets get to it shall we?

The various types of Windows users:

The Worker Bee These types inhabit most of the position in corporate America. They use their computers to check email, surf the web, make MS Office documents . . . and thats it. They know nothing else about their computer.

The Victim This is just the worker bee at home. These are the people whose machines constantly get infected with spyware, adware, viruses and the like. Forever adrift in a sea of techno-bable they hear words like “firewall” and “service pack” without really comprehending what they mean. These types are to be pitied more than anything as you attempt to redeem them from the dark side of the force. And that brings me to my next type, the switcher.

The Switcher These people might own an iPod (i.e. the halo effect) or they might just be fed up with all of the constant Windows security woes. Either way they are in the market for a new computer and they look to a new shiny Apple. Did you know that every time a Windows user converts an angel gets an iPod? It’s true. So convert someone and make an angel’s day.

The Gamer This one is kind of self explanatory. These users buy a PC to play games on. Sure, they might be doing other stuff but games is foremost on their list. When describing these types of people the word “Alienware” comes to mind.

The Eternal Optimist I think I get the most fun out of watching these people. The EO always believes that Microsoft’s next product will solve all of their problems. Sadly most of them have been following this pipe dream since Win95. It is always the next version of IE that won’t suck. It’s the next version of Windows that will be secure. It’s the next patch that will solve all of my security problems. Thankfully after more than a decade these people have begun to slowly die out. They are annoying and misguided but mainly just annoying.

The Hardcore Fan I have only seen a handful of these in all my wanderings. Now, these aren’t people who like Windows, these aren’t people who just use Windows, no these are the MS equivalent of the Mac Zealot. Like I said, I haven’t seen too many of these people (especially lately) and I can only conclude that it must be hard loving MS.

So, who did I leave out?